Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
