You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
