I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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