things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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