idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Of course I have a pirate flag
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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