Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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