Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
