I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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