I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
