dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize