Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
