I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
