are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
