I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
