so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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