He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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