ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
