I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
NoShamevember. You game?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
