I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
