was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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