My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
