yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize