here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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