I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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