Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
