I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
