so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Your tits are I can't wait for
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think your dad took our porno
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
