A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have fence marks all over my body
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
