Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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