i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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