And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
