Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
