Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
