it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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