i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
