just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize