I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
