my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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