Don't you send me to vm
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
