wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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