the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
