he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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