He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize