You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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