If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
