sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
