Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize