Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
