there's paper in my vomit.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
