I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
