I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
we're so committed to being not committed
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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