how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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