Me too!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
