found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
