I must be too annoying 4 u.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The uberlube is also flammable
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
