Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
