I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize