And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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