She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
