i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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