I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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