they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
