Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
