There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
