Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
