I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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