so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
