Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we're making bets on your personal life
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
