and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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