EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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