Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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