You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
