I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
