Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
