I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
